Mome reads Mommy, My daughter's way to spell it when she was younger... It stuck. My son calls me Mome... just like it looks. I now sign all my notes to them "Love, Mome". It's our inside secret and makes them smile. I always want them to smile.

Friday, March 6, 2009

Enquiring Minds Want to Know

I'm not very passionate about keeping a meticulous house.
I really have no interest in having everything spotless.
I can not tell you the last time I dusted our bedroom.

Why am I this way while others are the complete opposite and insist it is what makes a good Mother, woman, human being?

This is what I have been pondering today. Why today? No clue other than it gave me something to do while I wasn't cleaning my house.

I used to believe (until my pondering of today) that the reason I did not find joy in cleaning was due to an early child hood ritual of Saturday morning 9am wake ups by my parents insisting that my brothers and I clean (dust ,vacuum, put everything away) our bedrooms and playroom (full basement) as well as scrub every surface of the bathroom the 3 of us shared. We did this every Saturday for as long as I can remember. Ironically, the rest of the house was cleaned every Wednesday by a housekeeper.

Today I thought beyond that time to when, at 15, I moved in with my Dad and lived in new surroundings and had no cleaning schedule. There was dust, clutter, disorganization, and yet the next 3 years were the best of my young life. I had friends over all the time. While rarely allowed to have friends over to the house we kept so clean (to impress who?) I was now in a place less sanitary and way more open and accepting of anyone who wanted to just drop by.

I also realized that no one cares. Sure there are those who would rather be in a spotless home and look down their noses (even if subtly) as those with lesser standards, but kids aren't usually in that group. I had a friend who's Father was always renovating without completing previous projects. For months when I went to her house (every day) we would climb a ladder to get upstairs and walk across planks to get to her bedroom because her dad had decided to move the staircase. I didn't care. It was a spot all the kids liked to hang out at. Her parents were not uptight, invited everyone in and treated them like family. When I did end up at friends houses' that were spotless i just thought "Wow". Not "wow, I wish I lived like this", just "wow". It didn't matter.

Both My MIL and my Step Mom spend hours cleaning. Part of it is a pride and appearance thing, part of it, I believe, is that they both really enjoy cleaning. That's great for them, but they are also 2 people who think every one's house should be like that. I'm sure they love coming to my house (serious sarcasm).

When I visit my parents (as I just did) I don't revel in the cleanliness of my surroundings, I'm more impressed with the super cool theater room they have. Fully equipped with surround sound, home theatre seating , a 54 in Wide screen, and they even put floor lighting on the steps to the 2 rows of seats. I'm also impressed by the wine cellar they have created and fully stocked.

I want to feel relaxed when visiting people and something about a spotless house just puts me on edge knowing that I will inevitably spill something.

Moral of the story: If you're a super clean freak, just politely decline any invite I send you.

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