In Praise of Stay-at-Home Moms ~ Book Review

I recently had the opportunity to read and review Dr. Laura Schlessinger's book In Praise of Stay-at-Home Moms. I'll openly admit that I had no idea who Dr. Laura was (no gasping, please), but an opportunity to read any book on parenting is a good idea, in my opinion.

I spoke with a couple friends while waiting for the book to arrive and the fact became clear that you either LOVE Dr. Laura...or you don't. People had very strong opinions, just as Dr. Laura does. I'm sure she runs into this often. I'm not going to debate her views or beliefs, I'm merely going to tell you my feeling about this book and why I think it would be beneficial to anyone who has decided, or is trying to decide to stay at home with their child(ren).

I knew my whole life that I would have children. I also came from a home where my mother NEVER worked. She was home and doing her own thing. She made sure dinner was on the table every night at 6:00 pm, but other than that I do not remember any great bonding moments. We were not close. She was NOT the mother every little girl dreams of and I imagine, as a tomboy, that I fell short of her expectations as well. I spent more time in trouble than not, and I wasn't a bad kid, I was just a kid. There were 3 of us, and at times (a lot of them) I feel that was too much for her to handle, or more than she wanted to...but that is a whole different post.

I became, at a very young age, more independent than I needed to be. It was my survival tool. I started babysitting at 9 and made regular income from that age forward. I had a "real" job as soon as I was old enough (16). I made the determination that I would never rely on anyone to "take care of me". I knew when the day came for me to have children, I would not make the same mistakes. I would love my children unconditionally. I would also make sure (as a child of divorce) that I could provide for myself and my family on my own...just in case. I never intended or planned to be a Stay-at-Home Mom...but then I had my son.

One of the hardest things I've ever had to do was to leave my little boy in the care of his grandmother, so I could go back to work. I wanted to spend every minute with him. I had a career, and I was good at it, but it became so unfulfilling in comparison to the time spent with my baby. Shortly after my son turned one, my FIL had a heart attack and grandma was no longer available to watch Boog. I took a week off and found the best day care/learning center in our area and he started a week later. He was miserable. He was no longer my sweet little boy. He was sick the entire 9 weeks he was there. He cried at drop off and was zombie-like when we wold pick him up. That was all I needed to get my priorities in check. I submitted my 2 weeks notice, told Hubster our income was going to be cut by more than half, I didn't care if we had to live in a shoe box, I could not leave my child in the care of others for one more minute. Thus began my journey as a SAHM. I wouldn't have it any other way.

Dr. Laura's book is written to honor SAHM's. She explains how valuable this role is and defines the purpose. It is written to motivate those struggling with the decision. She explains insightful ways to fend of feminists who believe woman could/should be more than just Mom. While I never looked back after making my decision, I think there are plenty of women who view this job as unappreciated and a waste of their intelligence. Dr. Laura will make you think twice. She will also tell you how to cleverly get your husband's/mate's buy in if they are already not already on board.

The highlight of the book, for me, were the chapters and reminders about making your house a home by instilling confidence and security in all it's members. I think I do a pretty good job where the children are concerned but fall drastically short where my husband is involved. I think it's that independent streak that doesn't readily allow me to "need" my husband or make him feel needed. I've been trying to work on this since reading Dr. Laura's book, as I know it will make our family stronger and happier. I've been less quick to judge and put down, and tried to focus on the positives. I've bitten my tongue when harsh words would normally come out, I've tried to give praise to my partner, who relies on it. I'm not perfect, but reading Dr. Laura's views on how to strengthen the Motherly roll, has inspired me to be a better wife, so the family unit can be more confident as a whole.