Ever since I was little I always had a fear of a break-in. I'm not sure when it started, or why, but remember several nights where I would actually "hear" windows being opened. Second story windows, no-less. It would keep me awake. petrified, and watching every shadow on the walls in the hallway. In the early years I would retreat to my parent's room. We were not allowed to get in bed with them and I'm pretty sure I wasn't supposed to even wake them (although I don't remember for sure). I just remember showing up in their room with my blanket and pillow and curling up on the floor next to the bed and spending the rest of the night there. Might be why I always go with a child who wants to snuggle in the middle of the night or allow them to climb into our bed.
Anyway. At some point I got tired of staying up and convinced myself that if someone WAS going to break in...then they would. It hadn't happened yet and the only one suffering was me. I decided that staying up would not prevent it from happening and decided I was better off just sleeping and taking my chances. The problem was solved! For a long time, anyway.
So now I'm back to my old childhood fear. It's heightened by the fact that I not only have to save myself from these imaginary intruders, I have to save two children as well. It's at it's worst when Hubster is gone, as he was last night. It's not exactly that I feel safer when he's home (although apparently it is), he sleeps like a ROCK and I'm pretty sure I would notify any intruder that I was awake by trying to wake him. Maybe it's that I feel safer knowing there would be two of us to protect the kids? Maybe I think he will stall them long enough for me to put my "escape plan" (yes, I have it all planned out. I've even alerted the neighbors that I will need their help getting the kids off the roof) into motion? I'm not sure. I just know that he went to work at 11:00 pm last night and from the time I tried to lay down, my mind started racing. How can I get both kids out? I put my cell under my pillow because I was sure the home phone would go beep-beep-beep as I dialed 911. Then I thought, "Will they be able to trace the cell number as easily as the home phone should I be unable to speak?" Then I thought of giving the phone to Boog, he'd know what to do. All this played out in my mind as I laid there. It's excruciating what the mind can do.
I had a friend who had her house broken into over the weekend. She was home with her daughter while her Husband and son were out of town. This probably made my fear worse, but in the end was my saving grace. As I ran it through my head, I convinced myself that my worst fear came true for her and it would be way to coincidental for it to happen to me as well. I finally fell asleep around 3am. I awoke to the sound of the front door opening at 5:30am. I jumped up and slowly walked to the window...where I saw Hubster's car in the driveway. Whew! I went back to bed and got another hour of sleep.
What's your worst fear?