Mome reads Mommy, My daughter's way to spell it when she was younger... It stuck. My son calls me Mome... just like it looks. I now sign all my notes to them "Love, Mome". It's our inside secret and makes them smile. I always want them to smile.

Friday, February 19, 2010

When is it too much Testing?

I knew when I became pregnant with my first child that I would be delivering after the "cut-off" age. I had read several articles that discussed the increased risks of having children after 35. I would deliver him 6 months after my 35th birthday. I fully expected to be talked to about amnio and other tests, but nothing was ever mentioned. I was pretty sure I didn't want the added risk of amnio so not being asked was probably a good thing. It was my first time and I probably could have been easily persuaded. The entire pregnancy was treated as if that magic age had not yet passed.

When I became pregnant again (exactly) two years later. The difference was mind-blowing. Everything I didn't wasn't to acknowledge the first time was shoved down my throat the second time. I would be 38 when my daughter was born. Not only was the mentality of the doctors different. I was a veteran. I had done this before and no amount of coaxing could get me to do an amnio or go for genetic counseling. The doctors were miffed and (it seemed) upset that I wouldn't take advantage of these added services they were providing.

I'm not telling anyone NOT to do these. Each Mother has to do what's right for her. Some people are worriers by nature and these added tests could possibly ease their minds. I'm the opposite. I don't worry until I have something to worry about. I did not want to go through counseling so I could be told all the things that possibly could go wrong. I wanted to enjoy my pregnancy. At every turn I felt as though My Doctor's were trying to get rid of me. Each test would be explained and then followed with "...and if the results aren't favorable, we'll transfer you to (the other hospital that deals with high risk pregnancies)". It got to the point where I would just say, "You can't get rid of me that easy. I'm staying here and you're stuck with me." It got to be kind of a joke. I took my prenatal vitamins, took all the "regular" tests and did just as I had planned. I enjoyed my pregnancy.

I guess part of me knew that, no matter what, I was bringing this precious baby girl into the world. I would love her unconditionally no matter what. I know some can't do this and I don't judge them for wanting to know. I just wish my decision not-to-know wouldn't have been judged so negatively.

1 comment:

  1. First time is always very conscious. Every woman just try to take a lot of care.

    ReplyDelete

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