I am an AVID believer in non-physical discipline.
All my friends know it.
A few of them agree.
What do you do?
I looked at my first born and knew I could never physically harm/hurt him.
The "I spanked him for running into the road because I didn't want him to get hit by a car" translated (in my mind) to...
"I spanked him to hurt him less than he could be hurt".
I don't want to hurt my kids.
Is that possible?
I'm more a verbal person and have made threats that I wish I wouldn't have.
"If you don't pick up these toys I will throw them away."
My mother did this to me. It sucked. I didn't deserve it. My older brother rescued most of the important stuff, then held it over my head. In ways you don't even want to consider.
I do not want to be my mother.
Some of us have mothers that we choose to emulate and have every right and good intention in doing so. My Mother was NOT one of those people and I will spend my entire life making sure that my children do not have to go through what I did....but sometimes I fail.
When I find myself reacting to a situation out of habit or frustration I stop. Everything I've read about effective parenting says that remaining calm when dealing with difficulties is the key. If I'm calm, I do not want to strike my child. If I'm calm, I do not want to unleash unkind words.
Saying nothing and doing nothing other than sending the "offending" child to their room is the best I've got. We talk after the "heat" has calmed down.
My children are smart beyond their years and I believe that these conversations that seem to fall on deaf ears will haunt them later...or at least...make them think.
There will be plenty of time to talk about sat prep courses, college, jobs, wives, husbands, families and such. Right now I'm complacent with Happy, Youthful, Creative, and Confident...did I miss anything?