Mome reads Mommy, My daughter's way to spell it when she was younger... It stuck. My son calls me Mome... just like it looks. I now sign all my notes to them "Love, Mome". It's our inside secret and makes them smile. I always want them to smile.

Friday, May 14, 2010

So many Questions My Head is Spinning

I hope Hubster got disability insurance with our Cobra package because someone is about to get hurt. I'm just not sure who yet. I think it may even be me that deserves a good beating...

Handsome does well in school. He's in the top reading group, does well in Math and excels in Science and Social Studies. We got his final progress report home yesterday and he received his first "N" (Needs Improvement) for Work Study. This is the work he's supposed to be doing in class. It wasn't a total shock. He had problems earlier where he was playing around during centers and not completing his work. He was even disturbing other kids which caused him to be at a table by himself for a full month. He hated that and we thought the problem was resolved. Fail.

Two weeks ago we received a note from the teacher attached to a stack of Incomplete (in class) assignments. We made him complete all 13 that night. It took less than 30 minutes. We've been asking him (probably the wrong person to ask) each day if he completed his classwork and he's been telling us "yes". He claimed he was all caught up. Fail (again).

This morning he wanted to switch to a different back pack and when Hubster was helping him he came across a packet of Incomplete worksheets in his front pocket. This is where I start blaming myself. I've been letting Hubster help with homework each night since he is out of work. I haven't even been in his backpack other than to put his lunch in. Mommy=Fail. I'm pretty sure I would have seen these sheets. Handsome says he took them out of his classwork folder when they had a substitute...last week. He didn't want the teacher to know he didn't finish and thought "getting rid of the evidence" was a better idea. He went through a bunch of emotions when we found them. First he was sad. "I feel like such a bad boy." That's his manipulation to make us feel sorry for him. When he realized we were going to take them to the teacher to find out what the deal was he got angry. "Why did Dad have to go through my back pack?" "It's all his fault." "No one would ever know if he hadn't done that." He was beside himself. Fear, anger, sadness...Off to school we go.

The teacher was visibly surprised that she hadn't noticed. Each week they bring home all their classwork. Wouldn't she have noticed sheets missing when grading? I don't know the system. I'm going to know the system before the day is done. I'm also spending more time on homework (catching up the classwork) this weekend.

Basically he tried to get one over on everybody. Upset he got caught. No reason not to have finished it in class. It's not hard for him. He's not disrupting others. What is he doing? Why didn't the teacher realize he was just sitting there doing nothing? Why didn't we? Why is he lying about it? How do we get him to focus and complete his work? How do we make him understand the lying is unacceptable and the most concerning? So many questions. Time for some answers!

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