Mome reads Mommy, My daughter's way to spell it when she was younger... It stuck. My son calls me Mome... just like it looks. I now sign all my notes to them "Love, Mome". It's our inside secret and makes them smile. I always want them to smile.

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Moving On

I just had the worst possible conversation that any parent wants to have with their children,

  "Your Dad is moving out.".

 It came as a surprise to all three of them (two kids and the hubster).  I say that because I have been asking him (the hubster) nicely to leave since before Christmas and he.just.won't.  He's begged and pleaded and has given every reason why he should stay, but I just can't do it anymore. 

There was a time when I loved this man unconditionally and wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with him.

I was a child of Divorce and PROMISED Myself that I would never put any children I had through that. I also promised myself that I would never give up so easily on a commitment I had made.

I FAILED

I am not the mother I want to be.
I am not the mother my children deserve.

I am so wrapped up in negativity that I can't be who I am or want to be.
I am NOT a negative person but feel like my surroundings ARE negative.
I want fun!
I want Honesty!
I want Love!
.
I want to show my children what a healthy relationship looks like... or show them none at all.

My 7 year old son is ANGRY.  ALL.  THE.  TIME.

He gets it from me.

I want to show him something different.

I am moving on to a new chapter.

I will succeed.

I will be happy.

My kids will THRIVE!

WE ALL WILL!

7 comments:

  1. I'm so sorry you had to go through that. My sister went through a really difficult and painful divorce, and she did a terrific job of making sure that it had the least possible impact on her kids. I'm sure you'll do the same. Things will get better. This, too, shall pass. Stay well.

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  2. Im so sorry you're going through this. I can't even imagine how you feel. Sending lots of hugs.

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  3. Thank You Thomas. It IS all about the kids and putting their needs first. I definitely think this is the right move... even if it took me a long time to act on it.

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  4. Thanks Meleah. Everything is going to be GREAT!

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  5. I think you may be right Rachel. Now you can concentrate on having a happy family life. When I told my oldest daughter I was moving out she said "I am surprised you lasted this long".
    Don't forget to make yourself happy also. It will rub off on the children.

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  6. Hi, Rachele,
    I just added your rss feed to my reader and updated the past month of articles, catching this one just in time.
    Having gone through that same moment, at the end of a 25 year marriage, I can relate very well to the pain of separating and the NEED to be well. I was the one who left. I told my 4 kids first, the youngest of which was going into his senior year. And two months later, it was my ex who filed for the divorce. Later, she thanked me for having the strength to leave, and I thanked her for having the strength to file. We were in a severely codependent relationship where I totally lost all sense of who I was, brought out the worst in me, and was killing me. It was taking a toll on her as well. Truly, it was a necessary, but painful separation. That was 8 years ago. Our family is still recovering, but I will always believe it was the best thing for our kids as well. We were modeling a sick marriage for them. Now we have both modeled how people grow and recover.
    My ex and I are on good speaking terms. I wish only the best for her.
    I am now happily remarried. It will be our 4 year anniversary on March 10. I feel truly blessed!
    And I wish the same for you, Rachele!

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  7. I think you may be right Rachel. Now you can concentrate on having a happy family life. When I told my oldest daughter I was moving out she said "I am surprised you lasted this long".
    Don't forget to make yourself happy also. It will rub off on the children.

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